I’ve really felt led the last few weeks to post something “controversial” so to say. I’ve prayed about what issue to share my opinion on and I feel that I’ve found my first “In My Opinion” topic. I think this might begin to be a regular thing, and by regular I mean whenever I have the itch to discuss something deep.
Recently my eyes have been bombarded with shows, commercials, news stories, and what have you pertaining to gender identity. This topic has made my heart hurt, and has also angered me. I am angry because of the over production of things that are shown about this topic. Things such as commercials advertising shows that involve gender identity. Excuse me Media Person. DO NOT attempt to de-sensitive my young children by showing commercials that portray this abnormal challenge to be something positive and something we should embrace. I do not agree. I do not approve. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and adding yet another thing to teach my children wrong and right about. These lessons are becoming more serious and challenging than the regular “how to play nicely with your brother” type of lessons.
There are two reasons why (well probably more than two, but two major reasons seem to group it all together nicely) this topic hurts my heart.
Where are the parents?
Since when is a child born with the ability to determine right from wrong? Since when is a child born with the wisdom to make life altering decisions? Why is it wrong to say “no” to our children?Have we as a generation of parents seriously gone THIS far off track? Let’s bring ourselves in.
It is our job, our DUTY, our right as a parent to mold, guide, and direct (among a list of other things) our children. They need us. We are their example, their voice of wisdom, their advocate. Just as we are children of God; we depend on Him to guide us, to bring us wisdom, to show us right from wrong. When we allow children to make their own decisions we give up our responsibility, we lose our voice of reason, and we risk letting our children fall away from God. I’m not saying that our children should never make a decision and never become independent. I’m talking about bigger things here. Decisions that will affect their path, decisions they shouldn’t have to make as children.
It breaks my heart to see my generation struggle and fail with their parenting. It makes me sad to see parents allow their children do whatever they please with no consequences or no thought to even saying no. No does not have to be a bad thing. It is not a bad thing. Many times when we request something from our Lord we are told no. Being told no shapes us, humbles us, and redirects us. Just as it does (or should) with our children.
I read about parents that say that their sons gravitate towards girl toys, or their daughter beg for boy haircuts and boy clothes. At that point you as the parent need to take a step back and think about the situations your child has been in, the things they have been seeing, hearing, reading, or the directions you may have been unknowingly pushing them in. Then realize it is a time to say no. It is a time to correct behavior or thinking, and a time to encourage your son or daughter to find something else within their gender to desire.
God does not make mistakes.
Matthew 19:4 He [Jesus] answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female…?” I do not believe that my perfect Lord would be so cruel as to put the mind of a man in the body of woman. I also do not believe he makes mistakes. I do believe that we are faced with temptation. Jesus tells us that “It is necessary that temptations come…(Matt. 18:7)” And we can overcome temptation when we keep our eyes on Him, and search and ask for His guidance.
Why I Am Gender Specific:
There allows for no confusion.
1 Corinthians 14:33 says “For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.” When we blur the lines our children become confused. When we continually okay our girls to dress, play, or act like boys or our boys to continually dress, play or act like girls that doesn’t “culture” them or “allow them to find themselves” that confuses them. It tells them that how God made them doesn’t matter and whatever feels right in this moment is what you are. We can allow them experiences with different gender toys or playing situations, but we need to make sure there is a solid foundation and that they are confident in themselves as a boy or a girl. If God is not a God of confusion that means one thing to me: confusion comes from the Devil. And if I have the ability to beat the Devil from confusing my children you’re darn right I will.
There is no shame or wrongdoing in acting your gender.
I want my boys to be boys and my girls to be girls. Lately there are things that tell us we are raising our boys to act like misogynists or superior to women, or that we are raising our girls to be submissive and domestic. I call bull crap. I want all my children to be confident in who they are, leaders, honest, humble, and caring. Call me old fashioned but I do want my boys to have the understanding that they are the leader of their household, more spiritually than in other ways. I want my boys to be strong mentally, physically, and spiritually. I also want them to see the benefit in building a strong relationship/partnership with their wife, and that it is not about superiority but in relying on God and humbly leading. I want them to support their wife, not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually.
I want my girls to also be strong mentally, physically, and spiritually. I want them to know they don’t need a man, but benefit from the partnership the comes from marriage. I want them to seek advice of God and from a Godly man. I want them to support their husband. I want my girls to be domestic too. I want them to enjoy building a home, cooking, sewing, etc. These “woman” tasks are not something to be ashamed of, but are something to enjoy.
A man can be leader without being domineering, and a woman can show support to her husband without being “Fifty Shades of Grey submissive.” There is balance and many marriages have it, but what’s portrayed is misleading: Men should not stand for anything, and women should not take anything from a man -this is a lie I do not want my kids to believe.
I know these thoughts are just the tip of the iceberg in my brain. I am having a hard time fully getting my points across without going off on tangents. There’s always more to say, and sometimes not everything needs to be said. So here’s my piece. ❤